Ok, so I strayed a wee bit from my health plan this last Friday, I drank like a fish. But all is not lost, today I have a workout session with my personal trainer and that should put me back on the straight and narrow.
Now let’s talk about habits, specifically what constitutes a good habit or bad habit? Isn’t having a habit of any kind a bad thing? Like a smoking habit, drinking habit, spending habit, a keep going to M. Knight Shyamalan movies hoping for something remotely watchable habit, etc. The dictionary (and no I am not going to freaking site this like I’m in English class) defines a habit as: An acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary. Involuntary!? Like uncontrollable? Dude, I don’t want to run a million miles a day and eat carrots dipped in wheat paste or whatever. I just want to able to take off my shirt in public without apologizing for the moobs I got going on because my metabolism decided to take the rest of my life off…um, where was I?...OK -I just want to be healthy without losing my God given right to eat a pizza the size of a flying saucer and drink a beer…or twelve-without ‘Johnny Washboard-abs’ giving me the business…that being said I did make ground turkey meat tacos instead of ground beef tacos on Sunday and loved them. In fact I’m going to make a habit of only…buying…wait a second...Awe Crap. IT STARTED ALREADY!!!!!!!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Here is a Top Ten you know when you’re fat when…
10. You realize that revenge is not the only dish best served cold.
9. You make an unavoidable grunt when struggling to rise from a comfortable position.
8. You think an all You Can Eat Buffett sounds like a challenge not a just a place to eat.
7. The food network is not as boring as it used to be.
6. You growing out a beard just to make it seem like you have a jaw line ala George Lucas “the denial is strong in this one”.
5. You going to a fast food place is like going to a porn shop. You go in and don’t look at anyone directly, look at the list of options hurriedly lest anyone you know recognizes you, pay for you item(s) and high tale it out of there to enjoy your ill gotten gains in the comfort of your own home…napkins are a must.
4. The phrase “once around the block” sounds as daunting as “this might sting a little”.
3. You sit down and it looks like your belt slammed into your waistline and an air bag has been set off around your mid section.
2. You believe a sign that reads “Just take One” seems to violate your civil rights.
1. The current President of the United States Looks better in a bathing suit than you do.
9. You make an unavoidable grunt when struggling to rise from a comfortable position.
8. You think an all You Can Eat Buffett sounds like a challenge not a just a place to eat.
7. The food network is not as boring as it used to be.
6. You growing out a beard just to make it seem like you have a jaw line ala George Lucas “the denial is strong in this one”.
5. You going to a fast food place is like going to a porn shop. You go in and don’t look at anyone directly, look at the list of options hurriedly lest anyone you know recognizes you, pay for you item(s) and high tale it out of there to enjoy your ill gotten gains in the comfort of your own home…napkins are a must.
4. The phrase “once around the block” sounds as daunting as “this might sting a little”.
3. You sit down and it looks like your belt slammed into your waistline and an air bag has been set off around your mid section.
2. You believe a sign that reads “Just take One” seems to violate your civil rights.
1. The current President of the United States Looks better in a bathing suit than you do.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Day Won...I didn't
Ok, so I was talking to a friend today...wait I just lied, I was emailing her (can't believe I started my first blog with a falsehood) anyhoo, I was talking about going to the gym and eating right bla,bla,bla...and I said I should write a blog about all this, Kinda like a motivation to go forth and better my self. As if a personal trainer, my wife (awesome body by the way) and oh yeah did I mention I'm heavier than I have ever been in my life! Isn’t enough motivation, no, I go and start something like this.
Ok, here I go...I eat all the wrong stuff, drink waaay too much, and have a taste for fine cigars...um, yeah...not the makings for a real mister universe here.
We all read about how fat America is, and how we all need to be in "shape"...Dude, "shape" I got plenty of...I need definition and Motivation...and a burrito...sorry was craving and writing there for a second. Look, I was or am all gung ho about working out and loosing a few lbs...But I...relapse sometimes, moments...er hours/months of indulgences at a time and what not. I just want what everybody wants...to be happy with what I see in the mirror.
If you continue to read my future blogs know this...I love to ramble, I use improper punctuation and my grammar ghastly, I spell shit wrong and I will absolutely, positively write the gods honest truth...as long as it doesn’t make me look like to much of a jackass.By the way...I did not work out today (see, unabashed honesty already)...and no, it wasn't because Lost was on tonight or my car broke down...I just didn't go. (Sigh) as a wise person once said: "The past is the past the future is unknown but the present is a gift...that's why it's called a present." Ha! That had absolutely no baring on this current thought...But it sounded cool, yeah? That combined with washboard abs is all that matters right?
More to Come...
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